wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
