I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
