"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
