This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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