How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
