she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
