Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
And then my night got REAL pukey
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
