Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
