Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
either way he was missing a nipple.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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