You can't special order awesome
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
