best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
