a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
