Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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