i think my tv is drunk
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
