In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
