Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
