you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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