Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
