Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
