I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
