I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just found a bag of teeth...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
