Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
