He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
