Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
