I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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