He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
