I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The best revenge is premature balding
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
