Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
