People with herpes should wear stickers.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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