My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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