I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
