Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
handjob tips. give me some.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
