I need help removing her.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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