Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
