You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
