i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
