I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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