I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
