he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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