You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
