Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And then my night got REAL pukey
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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