i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
