I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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