I'm eating all of the evidence.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
