Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
