Porn is love you can see.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
