On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
