"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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