I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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