so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
