He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize