you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
